lil question and ans

Q: Why are you hurting yourself again?

A: I'm not sure, i guess that i'm willing to hurt myself voluntarily


Q: When are you going to stop hurting yourself?

A: Again, i'm not sure. Untill i think that it does not have any effect on me.


Q: Is hurting yourself fun?

A: No, definately it's not.


Q: Is hurting a pleasure to you?

A: I guess, but now, it is consider a pleasure, especially when you do it again and again.


Q: Don't you want to visit a psychiatrist ?

A: Why would i do that? what a waste of money..


Q: So, you are not using anything sharp like knives , forks, penknives to hurt urself...

A: No, so far, i've only use nails, card ends...but really tempted to use knives but i'm too lazy to clean up after that.


Q: Do you hate yourself?

A: Yes, i'm beginning to hate myself. oh wait...i've always had...since not long ago


Q: What do you want actually?

A: I want to feel appreciated. I want to feel important. I want to stop crying.


Q: And why are you still crying?

A: Because i can't help myself... i guess hurt is a part of my daily life =)


Q: What are you going to do now?

A: I do not even know, i don't have a target of what am i going to do. I'll just let it be whatever it want to be


Q: You are stupid, u know that?

A: Of course, heck i know i'm stupid. I'm too stupid to admit that i'm stupid.


Q: Aren't you going to bed?

A: Maybe, but feeling too hurt to go to bed...


-To be continued.......-

lil missing teddy bear

suddenly i miss teddy bear.....

too bad teddy bear is so far away, and i really mean, far far away *sniff*

wonder what teddy bear is thinking now...

*smiles*

wish teddy bear all the best :)

*hugs teddy tightly*

lil gals and a teddy bear

Two little girls in a park....

Wendy : Hey Joy, why did you bring your teddy bear here?

Joy: Oh...it's my favourite. Hehe.. *hugs it*

Wendy: Hmm.. but it looks old and worn out. Why don't you get a new one? I'm sure your daddy would get a new one for you..*nudge*

Joy: No...for now, not yet. Teddy would always follow me..

Wendy: Oh come on ... it's juz a teddy, new or old..

Joy: *puff* you are wrong, it may be just a teddy to you, but it has a lot of meaning to me.. I'm holding on to my teddy ..

Wendy: Geezz ... would never understand you.

Joy: *in her heart* I do not need anyone to understand why am i keeping teddy... because it is only meaningful to me, not to others... Teddies can't be replace because, there isn't any identical teddies..*hugs teddy*

Wendy : Fine fine... enjoy your teddy

Joy: I will, i sure will...

Wendy: Off i go then.. c ya

Joy: Bye...

lil emo post

*this post is not about convo*

read someone's blog juz now...

i guess gals watch too much fairytale movies/ cartoons...
who ever did created it.... made gals live in fantasy
Howsoever we know that in reality, it won't be like that in any way..
but we still dream that one day, the fairytale would come ..~~~ wahahah

and yes, i agree that at 1st, u open ur arms... widely.. n that's why it is vunerable

and after we get into something that is not pleasant to feel...

we close our hands n put it near our body... n would be thinking 3-4 time before
reopening it again..

i doubt that .. it would then.. be the same as u 1st open ur hands widely

>_____________< emo post... bleh

nor do i believe in myself,
nor do i want to believe in most of the things,
nor do i want to think about anything,
nor do i want anything else,
nor do i want to be someone....
nor do i want a fairytale
nor do i want to cook in the kitchen
nor do i want to be happy in myself
nor do i know what i want..

wahaha emo emo emo


stupid emo post ~~