lil aunt agony

Imagine that i'm writing to a newpaper column..

" Dear Aunt Agony,

I'm too attached to my phone. Whenever someone cuts me off and does not necessarily tells me the reason, i feel depressed. What should i do?

-Phoney- "

" Dear Phoney,

It is just a phone call. Slap yourself for me.

Regards,
Aunt Agony"