lil June

Birthday is just around the corner...

Fuh... older by another year.
So much things has pass, but so much things too yet to be gone through..

*cheers*

*jumps around and says miao n mumu*

lil february

currently happy :)
*smiles*

had a great short v-day *hugs n kisses*

lil christmas gift

i got a christmas gift ( i did get a few la..)

but 1 christmas gift is very special to me..

i'm happy..

*hugs*

lil soapy movies..

me likey soapy movies... typical love stories ... who cares if they says that it's all gal stuff..
Guys will nvr understand that..

:) i'm just dreaming... yea, those girly soap movies... the good thing is, it keeps me dreaming.. although i know that it won't happen to me..

let's dream on people .. :)

the milestone of 25 ....after that, let's just see how

*btw, goin to the mall myself is a bittersweet thing like those love-hate stuff*

till then peeps.

lil it was 11.10.08

yesterday it was 11.10.08..

1 year genap

Start to a new day ...
enuff said..
own understanding is enough :)

lil long prayer

Hi there,

I know i've been bad, but i would like to share a few things.

Daddy's goin to sabah, not like i'm goin back home every weekend, but things won't be the same completely, daddy won't be there personally as fast as he always does :(
Gonna miss him badly..But i hope for daddy the best, i'm gonna work n collect money then daddy can come back n stay home with mummy..n going to sabah means by flight...:(

Mummy been taking care of grandma.. must be tired n exhausted. poor mummy, send lil brother here n there some more. Hope she'll have good health...Hugs

Bigger younger brother been stress out about academics, he's not the typical original smart type, n he wants to get things done by himself, which is good, but i'm scare that it would drive him not very emotionally stable. :( sometimes he asked me stuff, i can't remember, ( my memory teruk about technical stuff). his chances of getting scholarship is not so high for now, but i'll see how he fare. Hope he passes ...

Lil Younger bro been shaken by what happened to his friend, bad bad me, i din even talk to him about it; reason? i dunno what to say. He's been doin quite well , i juz hope that he won't be stress out n do something stupid, hopefully...Makes me wonder what the heck are those lil kids doin nowadays, so many tuitions, class , etc etc.. =.=" like a boot camp.

About the country, i really want to slap some of the ppl for some stuff, even a 15 year old kid can think better than them. Quarreling n squabbling here n there. Bleh, n it's not even the super top one who's complaining, it's those lil ones.... many lil ones in fact, like we would say " BUUDUU", my friend have a better suggestion, use gundam n step on them, penyek.... whahahaha
Squabble all they want, but yerp, we still need to make a living, they can squabble coz they do have enough money...Juz hope that the squabbling stops, and times would be better

Mumu.. sometimes stress out about his stuff, sometimes i dunno what to do to help, useless me..
Mumu is juz the way that he is, so i juz hope his friends may understand at times, yes ppl should change for the more lively living but it's up to him and his way. He's trying i know that, but it doesn't take juz a blink of an eye to do that...But i really hope the best for him. :) n yea, he helped me quite a lot also previously. Do respect him, can tahan my kiddiness last time. I'm not sure where i stand in his eyes, but i dun really care for now. Hope he gets his itp placement, fyp done, plays tennis superbly, his friends would see him in a different way compared to what they view him now, and have a live good life ahead. Hugs mumu...

Me, according to some personality test, i'm INFP , well.... in short it means " as long as other ppl are happy, it's ok, eventhough it makes me not happy", well, i guess it's true, i dunno if it's memang my nature or what.... or maybe i like to be in a gloomy situation. When i pray, yes i do pray about myself, but i guess that i dun feel that i'm good enough to prayed for, so pray for others also better ( althought i've been neglecting it so far, sorry)

Oh, i din go for church today, coz i'm just not feeling it, n i dun want ppl to keep on pushing me for cg... i din like it. sorry again.

Thanks for listening,

Amen.

* this is an informal prayer*

lil 11.10

Juz a short equation ( p/s does not brings literal meaning)

11.10.07 - 11.10.08 = 00.00.01

00.00.01... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
what to do right? not like i can do anything also *sigh*

a lot of things been happening lately...
not good not good...
n i feel like whacking n slapping a certain " Artificial Intelligence" n scold BUUUDUUUUU
twist his dick, and also kick his butt... wahahaha

lil question and ans

Q: Why are you hurting yourself again?

A: I'm not sure, i guess that i'm willing to hurt myself voluntarily


Q: When are you going to stop hurting yourself?

A: Again, i'm not sure. Untill i think that it does not have any effect on me.


Q: Is hurting yourself fun?

A: No, definately it's not.


Q: Is hurting a pleasure to you?

A: I guess, but now, it is consider a pleasure, especially when you do it again and again.


Q: Don't you want to visit a psychiatrist ?

A: Why would i do that? what a waste of money..


Q: So, you are not using anything sharp like knives , forks, penknives to hurt urself...

A: No, so far, i've only use nails, card ends...but really tempted to use knives but i'm too lazy to clean up after that.


Q: Do you hate yourself?

A: Yes, i'm beginning to hate myself. oh wait...i've always had...since not long ago


Q: What do you want actually?

A: I want to feel appreciated. I want to feel important. I want to stop crying.


Q: And why are you still crying?

A: Because i can't help myself... i guess hurt is a part of my daily life =)


Q: What are you going to do now?

A: I do not even know, i don't have a target of what am i going to do. I'll just let it be whatever it want to be


Q: You are stupid, u know that?

A: Of course, heck i know i'm stupid. I'm too stupid to admit that i'm stupid.


Q: Aren't you going to bed?

A: Maybe, but feeling too hurt to go to bed...


-To be continued.......-

lil missing teddy bear

suddenly i miss teddy bear.....

too bad teddy bear is so far away, and i really mean, far far away *sniff*

wonder what teddy bear is thinking now...

*smiles*

wish teddy bear all the best :)

*hugs teddy tightly*

lil gals and a teddy bear

Two little girls in a park....

Wendy : Hey Joy, why did you bring your teddy bear here?

Joy: Oh...it's my favourite. Hehe.. *hugs it*

Wendy: Hmm.. but it looks old and worn out. Why don't you get a new one? I'm sure your daddy would get a new one for you..*nudge*

Joy: No...for now, not yet. Teddy would always follow me..

Wendy: Oh come on ... it's juz a teddy, new or old..

Joy: *puff* you are wrong, it may be just a teddy to you, but it has a lot of meaning to me.. I'm holding on to my teddy ..

Wendy: Geezz ... would never understand you.

Joy: *in her heart* I do not need anyone to understand why am i keeping teddy... because it is only meaningful to me, not to others... Teddies can't be replace because, there isn't any identical teddies..*hugs teddy*

Wendy : Fine fine... enjoy your teddy

Joy: I will, i sure will...

Wendy: Off i go then.. c ya

Joy: Bye...

lil emo post

*this post is not about convo*

read someone's blog juz now...

i guess gals watch too much fairytale movies/ cartoons...
who ever did created it.... made gals live in fantasy
Howsoever we know that in reality, it won't be like that in any way..
but we still dream that one day, the fairytale would come ..~~~ wahahah

and yes, i agree that at 1st, u open ur arms... widely.. n that's why it is vunerable

and after we get into something that is not pleasant to feel...

we close our hands n put it near our body... n would be thinking 3-4 time before
reopening it again..

i doubt that .. it would then.. be the same as u 1st open ur hands widely

>_____________< emo post... bleh

nor do i believe in myself,
nor do i want to believe in most of the things,
nor do i want to think about anything,
nor do i want anything else,
nor do i want to be someone....
nor do i want a fairytale
nor do i want to cook in the kitchen
nor do i want to be happy in myself
nor do i know what i want..

wahaha emo emo emo


stupid emo post ~~

lil 1 month penang

~~ 1 month ..it's been a month ^_^

got my salary today wee~~~ definately more than the 500 bucks i made during itp
but things are different, have to save save a bit :P,
but..
it's MEGA sales T_T
huhu.. i wanna a new cardis, jackets, n inside shirts.

actually wanna buy lingerie also, but ... paiseh XD next time next time

convo's coming up,
after that, more n more ppl coming up penang~

damn i miss the fun of uni life, i miss some of them too ..

*ssobbies*

but i dun miss my fyp, test, assignments, etc...

it's the weekend~~~ so, enjoy~~

but i still envy those ppl who goes for modeling..T_T why can they get all dolled up n pretty.
me want too.. *sniff*

anyway, better sign off b4 the net goes off...stupid.......broadband

lil 100~

oh my...

my 100th post wah wah ... *watery big eyes*

Hehe, lil bloggie has it ups n downs.

anyhow, convo's coming..

sobs. everyone's grown up *sniff*

i hope i grow up too

but 1st. must trim my tummy~ a bit, getting rounder i guess. thehehe

convo~ n big gal / young woman, here i come~~

lil penang

penang is all nice ~ not bad

working life is .. as other's ppl working life.. hehe, but i guess i must save save...

*dun spend so much, i'm juz telling myself*

life is as it is..

convo coming up soon.. miss all mua buddies~ hugs.. miss mumu too :)

wished can go down kl shopping... mega sales~

but top in my list of stuff : streamyx.. >_<

lil aunt agony

Imagine that i'm writing to a newpaper column..

" Dear Aunt Agony,

I'm too attached to my phone. Whenever someone cuts me off and does not necessarily tells me the reason, i feel depressed. What should i do?

-Phoney- "

" Dear Phoney,

It is just a phone call. Slap yourself for me.

Regards,
Aunt Agony"